Quote
There is a potential problem with looking to the past as a way of better understanding the present: we may start to think that an improved present is dependent on clearing up the past. Out of this belief, many of us try to rework the past. But you can’t rework your past—it’s gone. Any memories about the past are speculative, incomplete, and partial. Our version of our childhood is probably different now than it was ten years ago and will probably be different ten years from now. If we start to believe that the past is causing our present circumstances, then we’ve positioned ourselves as powerless victims. We can’t actually change the past, but we can subtly create the drama of trying to change what can’t be changed. Talking about the past, without realizing that we’re only talking about our current way of relating to our past, can actually function as an avoidance of being fully present. This unexamined project of freeing oneself from the past can result in an endless self-improvement project—as well as endless therapy.
Tift, Bruce. Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation
This quote comes from a wonderful book written by a psychotherapist and Vajrayana practitioner. It underscores the point I was making the other day - that the project of self-work, trauma healing etc, while important and valuable, can also be a neverending project if we allow it to be. We need to both engage in this work and also to see these manifestations of the past as empty. By seeing them as empty, we accept that the past is nothing more than the present representation of the past, instead finding a way to see them as a tool of wisdom.
Links
Embrace the fear. Trusting the fear gives rise to love and total acceptance. Nice video from Frank Yang that describes the essence of “do nothing” / letting go practice — first 10/15 minutes is where the juicy stuff mostly is.
Of course, letting go takes practice, as Amod Lele reminds us - it may be the culmination of a bunch of other practices (e.g. building attention, doing deity yoga) because it can require some skill to do it well.
Lovely reflection about what it’s like waking up - there is a jewel at the heart of you being.
The Buddha has some things to answer for…
One thing that’s striking about the story of the Buddha is how he abandoned his wife and son (who he named Fetter! ouch!) to go seek spiritual awakening. As far as I’ve read he did not reconcile with them afterwards. This part of the story always bothered me, but now when I think about it, I take it as a lesson to remember that all teachers are just human, that imperfect teachers can still give great teachings, and we should avoid putting our teachers on too high a pedestal or demand some kind of perfection. This is what I take to be the meaning of the old adage, “if you see the Buddha in the road, kill him.”